Megan Fox.

So even at 46 Megan Fox is still that hot little thing. However, being hot is never an excuse to act for lack of a better word, slutty. She didn't let her figure or her face go, so why should she let all of her morals and values go!? Jesus, if Caesear and Perez got a dollar for every time they had to update us on Miss. Fox(y)'s man of the week, they'd be rolling in billions. This time Megan's involved in a bit of a different situation. Well first off and most importantly, she's going to rehab. And the reason she is going to rehab is sex addiction (I know, shocker, right?). Well here's the funny thing. Miss Fox apparently ordered a babe from eBabe as her own personal sex slave. Seriously! The poor guy didn't know what the hell he was getting himself into. So after weeks of being forced to do things this man never heard of, let alone thought of ever even doing, he dumped Megan off at a rehabilitation center that specializes in sexual addictions. The exact location of this place is yet to be known, but it would be in everyone's best interest to send the lovely Megan Fox off to Zeusula where the only possible interaction with members of the opposite sex will be her doctors.
As you may recall, Tiger Woods was recently released from sex rehab and now he's onto to sleazier things than ever before with his new reality show, So You Think You Can Hump? Season 2. Well, Megan, maybe, hopefully you'll do better than that Tiger. Oh, who am I kidding? I love this stuff, and you all do too!

Okay, so Megan, "recover" faster than expected, get out, and do something ridiculous like an extremely public relapse.

XO
CelebAddict

Sarah Pain- in- the- Ass Palin

Speaking of ass...Sarah's is now about the size of Zeusula and Mars put together. Well it serves her right. After she was no longer able to open her mouth to the public, she had to cure that oral fixation of hers, which is when she chose to eat compulsively. Now I'm talking like 10,000 calories a day. As many of you have seen, the woman is a whale. I mean the 69 year old Palin makes the now 250lb Kirstie Alley look petite. The addiction to food and overeating seems to have begun for Ms. Palin after her husband left her for a not-so-large liberal. According to sources the first night she was alone after the former Mr. Palin completely moved out his own, she indulged in a Costco-sized birthday cake and two dozen donuts. From there it was just one slippery slope on down the hill. At around 260lbs not-so-sexy Sarah couldn't find romance, so she turned to eBabe where she hoped she could at least buy a man to pretend to like and her and possibly satisfy those long neglected needs. Well, turns out eBabe was not the answer because, ten men and $400,000 later, Sarah Palin was checked into a rehabilitation center, out in the middle of nowhere on a completely orangic farm where all foods are prepared raw, in order to cure her food addiction (and possible eBabe addiction). Ms. Sarah Large will remain at this facility for an entire year. Hey, if she expects to see any results from the mess she turned herself into, it's going to take at least a year. We'd be lucky though if Sarah just couldn't handle the treatment and ate herself alive, we'd then never even have to hear about her again.

Selena Go-Away-Mez

It always breaks my heart to hear of these former cutie-pie actors turning into partying monsters...NOT! At the age of 39 it's about damn time that Selena Gomez check her bad self into rehab. As most of you know, Selena has followed in the footsteps of the now-plastic-surgery-addicted Lindsay Lohan. Sources claim that it was Selena's tragic split from Nick Jonas that really set her over the edge. She had been guzzling about an entire handle of vodka each day for the past month or two. Her once pretty face isn't looking so pretty anymore. The rate of her drinking has resulted in some serious aging to her fair skin, causing her to look almost as horrid as the overly tan Nicole Richie. What finally led Selena's younger sister, to get her checked into rehab was the recent run in with the police that landed Ms. Gomez a night in jail and 1,000 hours of community service. It was reported that Selena Gomez had around 2 pounds of slugs stashed under the passenger seat of her purple Honda Hover car. It's still unknown as to how long Selena has been using slugs, but girlfriend needs to get some help and a facial. Selena will actually be traveling quite far, all the way to Saturn, for a 90-day stay at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. If you or a loved one needs help you can check out the Spacecations site for traveling rates to seek the best support you can get.

The Actor Formerly Known as Zaquisha

At 45 Zac Effron is still oh-so-incredibly handsome, and I know you (and I) never thought that this day would come for him. Mr. Effron will be checking into a Seaside Health Care Center in Maine for a 30-day stay due to a technology addiction. We all know over the years, post High School Musical days, Zac has been become quite tech savvy. He's even been spotted multiple times at the front of the line, camping for days or even weeks at a time, in front of any store that is premiering a new electronic device. Well, his time has finally come to get some help. Zac will be lucky enough to not have to quit his addiction cold turkey but rather ween off of it and open his mind to other sides of the tech world. We hear that this particular Seaside Health Care Center has a special class where patients can learn how to use and make a transistor radio. This should be of great interest to Mr. Effron because he'll be able to contact with the outside world; however he'll be limited to this early piece of technology. So for the next 30 days, Zac will need to stow away his iPhone Xtreme, along with his 2033 Honda Hover car. Zac Effron please return your beautiful self to society with a level head.

There're So Many Consequences When it Comes to Excessive Tanning

Nicole Richie has just been admitted to a rehabilitation center in a small town in Alaska. We're all familiar with her previous stints with drug and alcohol abuse, but this time she's in for something that could one day really take her life: tanning addiction. At 51 years old, the poor thing looks like she's a frail 80-year-old woman. Damn, talk about skin that looks like worn leather. As some of you may recall, Perez Hilton posted an oh-so-lovely picture of the skinny Richie soaking up the rays in Cancun. Well, now she's in a place where the sun doesn't shine, and where there isn't a single tanning bed within 500 miles. Sources say that her family thought it may be best if she could rehabilitate in Zeusula, but then doctors' reminded them that Zeusula is in fact quite close to Mars which could potentially set up Nicole for an immediate relapse (you know, since Mars is hot as Hell and full of ultraviolet rays). So, we can expect Nicole Richie to reside in Alaska for around 120 days, in order to allow her skin to fade back to normal pigmentation and to rid her mind of the urge to tan. Can't wait to see you all better, Nicole! Pasty skin is way in and skin cancer free is the way to be!

LiKe Oh My GaWd! KE$HA!

I'm so sorry to break the news to all five of you true fans, but KE$HA will finally be admitted for her long time, extensive alcohol addiction. C'mon, it was bound to happen and should have happened 23 years ago when her first hit single came out, which hello, is all about getting drunk and waking up in the morning to brush her teeth with "a bottle of Jack." KE$HA is lucky that she lasted for as long as she did. Now I'll tell you what the icing on the cake to this trainwreck's life was...
Ms. KE$HA felt entitled to crash queen of pop Madonna's "Like a Senior Citizen" Tour. Who the hell does she think she is? Just because you know how to talk into a synthesizer and get really wasted for free, it does not entitle you to join the royalty who we all know as Madonna. Well, it turns out that KE$HA believed she held this entitlement on the fourth night of the "Like a Senior Citizen" tour. After she pounded a bottle of bottom-shelf whiskey, she broke into the lovely Madonna's trailer, painting her wasted face with the royalty's make-up. Talk about a not-so-hot mess.
So due to KE$HA's belligerent actions, false sense of entitlement, and all of her other alcohol-induced nights, she has been admitted to a standard Betty Ford clinic out in Palm Springs. Because as you should know, KE$HA really shouldn't be considered famous anyways. Sorry, hon, no special treatment for you! But please do yourself a favor and try to get better! Your skin looks weathered and 46 is supposed to be the new 26.

Tiger Woods Has Been Driven Way Past the Tee

So as some of you may recall, back in 2009/2010 Tiger Woods partook in a number of extramarital affairs. I think by the end of it all he admitted to sleeping with 16 (or some other absurd number) different women. Mr. Woods even checked into a rehab center for sex addiction. Way to come to terms with your eff up, Tiger!
Well, here he is at 57 and his cheating tendencies have returned! So he has been returned to rehab! However, this is a quite different rehab, a very special rehab. Conveniently enough for Tiger Woods, a new rehabilitation center that specializes in sex addiction has opened up right in the middle of Zeusyla! For those of you who are not yet familiar, Zeusyla is in an entirely different galaxy, far, far away.
This time, Tiger (and his Wood) decided to become involved with another 15 women who are half his age. Jesus, is being married to a gorgeous ex-supermodel not good enough? Huh, Tiger? So we can expect Tiger Woods to remain at Zeusyla's first and only rehab center for the next 90 days because this addiction is just out of control. You'd think that after being dropped from the PGA Pro Tour and being dropped from all sponsorship except for that of Preparation H, you'd want to make some major changes in your life.
Keep it in your pants for good, Tiger, and come on back to the Milky Way!