There're So Many Consequences When it Comes to Excessive Tanning

Nicole Richie has just been admitted to a rehabilitation center in a small town in Alaska. We're all familiar with her previous stints with drug and alcohol abuse, but this time she's in for something that could one day really take her life: tanning addiction. At 51 years old, the poor thing looks like she's a frail 80-year-old woman. Damn, talk about skin that looks like worn leather. As some of you may recall, Perez Hilton posted an oh-so-lovely picture of the skinny Richie soaking up the rays in Cancun. Well, now she's in a place where the sun doesn't shine, and where there isn't a single tanning bed within 500 miles. Sources say that her family thought it may be best if she could rehabilitate in Zeusula, but then doctors' reminded them that Zeusula is in fact quite close to Mars which could potentially set up Nicole for an immediate relapse (you know, since Mars is hot as Hell and full of ultraviolet rays). So, we can expect Nicole Richie to reside in Alaska for around 120 days, in order to allow her skin to fade back to normal pigmentation and to rid her mind of the urge to tan. Can't wait to see you all better, Nicole! Pasty skin is way in and skin cancer free is the way to be!