I'm so sorry to break the news to all five of you true fans, but KE$HA will finally be admitted for her long time, extensive alcohol addiction. C'mon, it was bound to happen and should have happened 23 years ago when her first hit single came out, which hello, is all about getting drunk and waking up in the morning to brush her teeth with "a bottle of Jack." KE$HA is lucky that she lasted for as long as she did. Now I'll tell you what the icing on the cake to this trainwreck's life was...
Ms. KE$HA felt entitled to crash queen of pop Madonna's "Like a Senior Citizen" Tour. Who the hell does she think she is? Just because you know how to talk into a synthesizer and get really wasted for free, it does not entitle you to join the royalty who we all know as Madonna. Well, it turns out that KE$HA believed she held this entitlement on the fourth night of the "Like a Senior Citizen" tour. After she pounded a bottle of bottom-shelf whiskey, she broke into the lovely Madonna's trailer, painting her wasted face with the royalty's make-up. Talk about a not-so-hot mess.
So due to KE$HA's belligerent actions, false sense of entitlement, and all of her other alcohol-induced nights, she has been admitted to a standard Betty Ford clinic out in Palm Springs. Because as you should know, KE$HA really shouldn't be considered famous anyways. Sorry, hon, no special treatment for you! But please do yourself a favor and try to get better! Your skin looks weathered and 46 is supposed to be the new 26.
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